in the middle of a fire

In the Middle of a Fire

Introduction

I’ve never been a soldier and I’ve never been in a war conflict like what’s happening now in Ukraine or Afghanistan or some other war-torn country. So, for me to try and understand how a refugee from those countries are feeling, having to leave their home, would be almost impossible for me to express. But for many of us, life has a way of exposing us to battle fields of different natures.

There are those battles with family. Fathers and sons, brothers and brothers fighting for their rightful place or just to be heard and understood. Mothers and daughters, sisters, and sisters in conflict over choices like ‘who do I want to marry?’ and ‘where do I want to live my life?’. And let’s not forget brothers and sisters have their battles too.

We all have our personal struggles with addictions and weaknesses that depending on the individual, we might as well be in a fight with the Devil himself.

In this recent generation, new challenges have emerged to pull family members even further apart. When a family member comes out to declare they are gay or a lesbian or of a more unique sexuality, the rippling affect could see families not talking or seeing each other for the rest of their lives.

For years my marriage was like a roller-coaster ride. It was always either up or down but never consistent in terms of peace and happiness. For those who know this life, there are times you may ask yourself, ‘If I was to get out, how would that affect the innocent ones in the family?’ or you might say ‘what would people think?’ You’d be surprised at the things we do and prepared to go along with because we’re so concerned about what people may think and say about us.

I believe for my situation, the biggest fear playing on my mind was, “how would I survive if my family left me or if I left them?” I couldn’t picture my life without them so I held on, even when the circumstances were killing me. But it all came to an end a few years ago after an unexpected attack.

I was laying in a hospital bed with the lights off. The door was open and the light from the corridor was just shining through to stop the room from going into total darkness. I just received the last brief visit from a family member who was there more to gain information to build a defence story rather than too find out how I was doing. They stood at the door and asked if there was anything else I had to say. And then it hit me, nothing I did would make this life better.

One of the worst things to face is to realise, even though you love someone whole heartedly, if they want nothing to do with you, on the contrary, they despise you to the point that underhandly, they put your life at risk, then at some final point you surrender and give in because if you don’t, you will be the one dead on the alter, not them.

I thought about what to say, the fears of facing the fire of loss and what that would mean on the other side were gone. In my mind, my only thought was, ‘take the jump. Jump in the pit. What’s the worst thing that could happen, than what’s happened already.?’ Then I said the only word that came to my mouth… “Goodbye.” After they left, I cried. You know the quiet, silent tears that run down your face from eyes so wet they don’t seem to stop. And I remember what I said.

“Lord, all I ever wanted was to make my family happy. Do I have to die to make my family happy?” Then for the third time in my life I heard His voice.

“No. My Son died on the cross for all to have life and have life more abundantly.”

“But Lord, my blood was shed.”

And I will never forget the three things He said to me that changed my life from that night on.

“Your vow has been paid, your sins forgiven, you are free to go.”

After you’ve gone through your fire there is a peace of mind you never thought you could experience. Things are never the same. Some people may use the expression, “it is what it is.”

The good thing is, I’m alive and still here, ready to face new challenges. Been through a fire? Then today is a new day.

The Story

This story is a reflection of the three Hebrew boys (who I pictured as teens)-Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego facing the fiery furnace created by King Nebuchadnezzar. One of the things I need people to understand is this book is not a collection of bible study notes as so much can be dug out of such stories for our understanding.

This is a fictional reflection of what someone might have experienced based on my own feelings when I think of situations I’ve had to face and challenges to overcome. If how I write these characters resonate with something within you, then I thank God.

Overall, the challenge for me is to relate to the human expression of the experience. We have our Bishops, Pastors, spiritual leaders, and Bible study groups who teach the Scriptures for our benefit and understanding. But these stories take a look at the human side of the experience.

People face defeat, disappointment, and despair in different ways. None are wrong it’s just that different people do different things. What I tried to display here was as a teen, how I remember myself facing a life crisis was much different to the older me today.

Some people face bad experiences with comedy, others with singing, finding out that the more hurt they are, the more they can channel that hurt by expressing their feelings in words to a song others can relate too. Other people may just freeze. They just can’t move and it takes a good friend to help get them started again. While for others, they go off into a different, sort of ‘make believe’ world to hide away from the hurt.

For myself, I have a job that involves helping people get back to a workable way of life in a practicable way. So oddly enough, when the difficulties of my personal life hit, I kind of combat them by doing a better job and showing kindness and compassion to others.

So, if you don’t have a manual on how to deal with your particular situation or find yourself acting in a way other people don’t expect you too, then give yourself a break. Whatever way you choose to face your fires, you are only human.

Final Thoughts

These final thoughts are brought to you today by the letter ‘F’.

Faithful-This story teaches us so much about the love and grace of God. He was there in the fire with them. It’s not always about avoiding a bad experience, sometimes we need to go through it. Going through shows us how strong we are and helps us discover gifts and talents we would never know unless we had that experience to unlock our hidden potential.

Maybe that’s one of the reason’s God allows it in the first place.

Friendship-if you have a genuine, real friend for life, (not someone who sees you as a competitor) then that is a blessing money can’t buy.

Future-If you’re not dead, then there is more God has in store for you to do. So, when you open your eyes in the morning and you see the ceiling, thank God, and ask Him, ‘Lord what’s on the agenda for today?’